In "What Makes Us Happy?" by Joshua Wolf Shenk, he talks about George Valliants study of 268 Harvard male students he'd been able to interview throughout their lives. For the most part, it seems as if the men who had the more promising lives ended up being the ones who faultered as they grew older. Men like Eugene O'neal were thought to end up being executed by the electrical chair, but ended up winning the nobel prize. Their lives ended up doing a complete 180. Valliant makes the claim that "Happiness isn't about me." This simply means that one should try to bring joy to others, and in turn they'll be gifted with something special along the way. It's not something that should be forced, it should come naturally. This ties in with his other statement that "Happiness is love." Love is something that develops over time. I see it as a stepping stone and an equal to happiness. Happiness is a product of love, so in that sense it is love. He even continues on to call happiness a process. This tells me that being truly happy doesn't occur over night. It's something you have to mildly work at. Everyones happiness isn't going to be rated on the same scale, and it may not always be constant. That's life.
Rita Dove appears to grasp this same method as she takes us on a journey through her days as a bible school student in the African Methodist Epicostal church. She's trying to get a better understanding of the apostle Paul. It seems as if she comes to the conclusion that he's human, and he was taken aback by unexpected events in his life. He developed a love for Christ and ended up using it as his road to redemption. She builds on Valliant's arguement that "Happiness is love" by alluding to Paul finding his happiness with the help of the love he has for Christ. He does so by turning his life around and starting anew. She doesn't necessarily plain and dry describe what happiness is but she does a solid job towards the end of portraying how love can make one strive to do better.
Love is something one must work on in order to fully understand it. Love is foolish if believed to happen over night or at first sight. What is most difficult for some people to understand is that everyone has a different meaning for love. We choose what we want to love by selectively choosing what benefits us and what doesn't. If we choose to love something that won't bring us happiness than it ain't true love. As Paul found his love for Christ it helped him thrive and do better for others and not just himself. We must look at the world at a different angle to find out what love really is. Love is something that has no price because its much more valuable than anyone can imagine. It is the best emotional feeling and the darkest when it comes to heartbreaks. Love is an exclusive emotion that we feel, it can make us or break us.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with your statement, " Love is something that develops overtime". If we all expected to be loved out of the blue and automatically then we would be surrendered to "tradition", when everything was planned out for us and all we had to do was "our part", as Yann Dall'Aglio said.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, when Yann Dall'Aglio said that love is the "desire to be desired", I'd have to say that I agree with that statement as well. We all want to be desired by someone . And in return we may or may not get that "desire" back. Just like in Robert Hass's "Meditation at Lagunitas" poem, we continuously long for things and end up being completely miserable. But we do it because longing for something or waiting for the return of desire, keeps us going. It gives us a reason to live. Just like stated above love is one of the best emotions you can feel, but it also the worst. Even though love may not come when you want it, or it may completely miserable while you have it, it's still worth it. "Happiness is love" and for us to have happiness we need love, which in turn strives us to live for something.
I agree with your statements about each article 100%. Happiness is something that you have to spend time, work and constant effort for. It does not come over night. Happiness is not about doing all things for yourself, but doing for others also. Helping others leads to your own happiness. If you are forcing this help upon others then it doesn't count because true happiness comes natural. Just as happiness comes natural so does love. Love is not something you can find in one day, one week and even one year sometimes. Love will come unexpected which will lead to such happiness. True love can change your life around completely. Just as Paul realized his love for Christ, his life changed. Paul realized he shouldn't be just living his life for himself but for others also. Paul's love for Christ poured out on others which makes others happy that then leads to his own happiness. Love is happiness, happiness is love.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with your statement, "love is something that develops over time." Although for many people love fades away after so many years and for some over time being with somebody it makes you love them even more, it is still what keeps us from being miserable and having somebody that is there for you through every obstacle. No person really believes that they will be loved out of no where by another person that is not a relative.
ReplyDeleteComing back to your statement of love and how it develops over time Joshua Wolf Shenk in "what makes us happy" shows us an example of how this statement is very true. In Harvard's studies case No.218 is about an 80 year old man that has been with his wife over 60+ years that is found with cancer and might die from it. He was asked, "would you change anything from your life if you could" then he answered, "I don't think I would want to change anything." This is a great example how it shows how love really does develop over time.
In the blog you speak of many topics similar topics that came to mind as I was reading the stories. When you explained happiness and how it takes you to bring Joy to others and in return, they will be gifted along the way is a great way of rephrasing what is explained in the context. I thought the story gave off how the men transformed through time some were very different form the others but overall the men the predictions came to be very incorrect. I believe just because you "peek" early does not make your future more promising than others. They bring love and happiness into the mixture claiming "Love is Happiness" which is true because love can indeed change your entire aspect on life. Loving someone or something can make your life worth living. In the article "What Makes You Happy?" Paul's love for Christ was inspirational because he learned through loving Christ he should love others as well. He used what he learned through Christ and applied it to his everyday life, which made his love deeper through Christ.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I agree that love developed over time. Sometimes love de-escalates and other times love escalates depending on how it is handled with the people it is associated with. Love can be the most exhilarating thing one can experience also it can be hurtful and heart breaking. Everyone desires love, and depending on how you choose to use it in your life makes the difference on your happiness.
I got the same understandings while reading the two stories as you did. Happiness is not about just us as individuals. Happiness requires bringing joy to others which will then lead to you being happy as well. i believe that love is happiness because everyone is meant to be loved and if you aren't loved or aren't capable of love then you are a miserable person. I agree that love developed over time. Love is something that can be hard to come by and it may take you years to find then on the other hand some people believe in love at first sight, which i believe too. Love is a very powerful thing and i believe that everyone is meant to love and be loved. That is why God created us, so we could love and reproduce and live long loving lives.
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