Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Thank You For the Music



  May 25, 2014 - this day may not seem significant to most but for me it was the day I said goodbye to a large part of my life.
   “The school day was over, and I just had to make it through the next 2 hours then the hard part would be over”, this mantra was the only thing keeping me sane. I made my way to the performing arts center and opening the heavy black door the cloud of anticipation hanging over everyone was clear. The 1st year members filled with excitement, the seniors heartbroken, and everyone in between dismayed at the thought of saying goodbye to friends. I'll spare you the details of rehearsal and check-in, let's skip right to the good stuff: the concert. It was Disney themed and I had the wonderful privilege of helping out back stage and jamming out with the crew. The music was pumping, the stage lights bright and colorful, and the light, happy atmosphere put a smile on everyone`s faces ; we were all having a blast!
    At least until our highest choir (Expressions) went on and performed their transition song in which the new members perform with the old ones and all of the seniors exit the stage leaving only next year`s members on stage. That's when all the heartbreak hit us full force; it felt like the wind got knocked out of me. Soon enough the tears spilled out of my eyes cold against the heat of my face but we only had 4 minuets to get ourselves together before it was time for the closing number. The song was You'll be in my heart from Tarzan, if you've heard the song you can probably imagine that emotion it kicked up for all of us in that moment. For all the senior this was our goodbye- to each other and to the program. This was the last time all the seniors would be singing on that stage as member of the program.
    I remember looking around at all of my fellow choir members; their faces were blotchy and red from crying, their arms wrapped around their nearest friend, and listening to the sound of their shuddering voices, the song supported only by the underclassmen- realizing once more how blessed I was to have all of them in my life. In that second the reality that high school was ending and soon I would have to say goodbye to a program that had become my home and whose members were like my second family. Choir wasn't just another class that I was obligated to go to and spend 45 minutes of my life in every day. Within the space of those white walls, filled with bleachers and class photos of past choirs there was a safe haven, a place where I and the other members could go to get away from all of our problems. It was a place where we were allowed to just be ourselves, no matter how goofy, weird or nerdy everyone else thought we were, in that choir room everyone was accepted no questions asked. The grief of saying goodbye to such a special place created a knot in my stomach that made going through graduation feel like a walk in the park.
   May 25, 2014- this was the day I said goodbye to my choir program, leaving behind a small piece of my heart with it.

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