Confusing Moment

It was Sunday, my family and I were sitting in front row so we could get the best view possible as if He would see us more clearly. A man dressed in a green, gold, and white robe speaks vividly of the teachings that we as people of God must live throughout our lives. As I’m sitting there listening to the man’s words I notice the elderly woman in front of me. She was dressed in the casual “going to church” attire and around her late 60s or early 70s. At first it seemed like she was just silently praying to herself until suddenly her body began to shake and quiver as if she was possessed by some kind of stronger force. Raising her hands and crying out the prayers as if she had been punished and now begs for forgiveness. The voice of the preacher began to fade as if I wasn't hearing him at all, like I was inside my own head thinking and listening to my own thoughts. At that very moment everything was all a blur, like nothing existed but my own thoughts. My surroundings vanished and all I could think about was is this all for real? Seeing that woman lose herself made me question all the teachings that have been forcefully molded into my very being. Is this what we are taught? Are we supposed to pray for miracles of forgiveness when really all we get in return is silence?  I began to see everything going on around me from a different view, like my eyes had been opened. Everyone I looked at was just reading the words off the paper like it was a routine, their voices dull and insincere. Everything I ever knew felt like it had just been exposed as a lie. I just began to see everything I once knew as a way to control people, and make their decisions for them. I couldn't wrap my mind around my own thoughts it was like I was completely confused but clear at the same time. That very moment felt like an eternity.