Powerful Moment

The rain masked the tears of the weeping, sorrowful faces around me. A soft, but firm hand fell gently on my right shoulder. For a second, I didn't even notice it; I didn't notice anything around me except the wide, black, rectangular box that slowly began to sink into the soft, wet earth. We were home. All of us were home together during this painful time, but most importantly, she was home. This was where she wanted to be.  
The gray, motionless clouds hid the warm sunlight as the rain continued to fall at our feet. My face was not stained with sadness or grief like the others. Those emotions had been tucked away for no one else to see but me. There was only anger and confusion. Why did He take her from us? Why should He have the power to just rip the life out of our bodies and hold onto it for eternity? My mind was just as dark as everything around me: the sky, the soaked ground beneath my muddy church shoes, the human statues draped in black clothing, the heavy, black umbrella that hung over me, everything. There was no light, no clarity.
The bright, vivid colors of the world seemed to fade away more and more as each second went by. The harmonies that floated from the choir's lips had become dull and lifeless. The feelings that I had before were now gone; there was no feeling at all. My body had succumbed to the numbness my father had warned me about before this day. His voice bounced off the walls of my hollow mind. "This will never lead to any sort of consolation", his voice rang. I knew what was happening. I knew what I was doing to myself, but I didn't bother to stop it. There was no need to; it was inevitable from the beginning. The strength to resist this numbness was thrown away days before this moment occurred. I no longer had the faith and hope I once had before. At that very moment the casket hit the ground, my body became an empty shell.