Graduation Day: What Was Supposed to Be

     The entire senior class was excited as we poured into the AT&T Center, in downtown San Antonio. The rumble of conversation continued to rise and fall as we patiently waited direction from our administrators. It was only our dress rehearsal for what was supposed to be one of the most monumental events of a person's life, but for whatever reason I couldn't make myself feel the same way everyone else did. After all, it was June 3rd, 2014, the day that marked a new beginning for my life.
      My parents and older relatives continuously asked me, "Are you excited for the big day"? I would casually muster up the response of "Yeah", with a smile on my face. But it wasn't true. For whatever reason I couldn't gather the feelings of a typical graduating senior. I was supposed to be energized and nervous with a constant smile on my face. As the lined moved up for us to move into the stadium, I asked my self, Was there something wrong with me? I couldn't fathom what could possibly be wrong that I didn't enjoy my big day. I stepped on the x that marked where I would stand, that night, in front of the crowd. I stopped to shake the superintendent's hand and then walked back to my seat, after pretending to pose for a couple of pictures. When back at my seat, my principal gave us time to pass around yearbooks and ask any questions about the upcoming night. The entire time I sat there thinking of ways I could get amped up for the night to be. After rehearsal, some friends and I went to Starbucks, one of my favorite places on Earth, and talked about what we planned to where and what time we would arrive. (Of course we all had to be there at precisely 5:30 sharp, but who were we kidding? ) After that, I continued in my effort to ignite my enthusiasm. I did a little shopping for nail polish to match my shoes at Rue 21. I even watched the adrenaline rushing, Fast & Furious series. But I felt nothing. Eventually, I got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and headed to the center.
     After taking pictures with almost everyone you've ever met over the course of four years, I filed in line. On the way up to go through the curtains, the girl in front of me whispered, " I'm so nervous, but not really excited". BOOM. That's when it hit me. There was nothing wrong with me. There were people out there just like me. And as soon as I made this realization, I stepped foot on to the X. My name was called and I could hear my family going ballistic. As I shook hands with he superintendent, for the second time that day, he said, " Wow, you're hands are cold". It was as if in that moment everything in the world revolved around me, and then..... nothing. It was like I went blind and deaf for a split second. Suddenly, somehow. I was back at my seat.
      The biggest moment of my life, up until actually moving to college, was a total blow. So much for this empowering and significant moment.