Sunday, October 5, 2014
When comparing the Grant Study paper to Yann Dall'Aglio's speech, I used Yann's idea of wanting to be desired and remain desirable as a measure of happiness. I noticed in a few examples that were given in the study that though people may have been financially successful and lived valued lives in the perspective of monetary values they still were unhappy. Those who maybe weren't so financially stable with closer family ties seemed to be happier, or at least not depressed to the point of suicide. When I read Yann's speech I thought about how I like the feeling of being "desired" or having a strong relation with someone. That feeling makes me happier than any sum of money could ever make me. There are friends in my life that have spent the vast majority of their lives chasing a financial goal as apposed to a relationship goal or even sharing their time with another. These friends have aged passed how old they actually are. In my eyes what makes us happy is a sense of belonging or a sense of being "desired" in Yann's words. Finances are a necessity but like people always say money can't buy happiness.
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Yes! I totally agree with the feeling of being desired is a strong, wonderful feeling that money could not amount to. People can aspire to reach of the goals of being financially stable, but it definitely should not be their main priority. Relationships to others obviously plays a major role in a person's happiness according to the past readings and this reading. But with desire comes jealously as Pappas explained in her "Love Hurts" which makes love and relationships difficult, along with the issue of people's values, as Dall’Aglio says in his video. It is the value one has for themselves that determine their responses and reactions to others, which consequently can lead to jealously between people. I feel that, if one values themselves to an extent, the jealously would cease, or somewhat cease to exist because they are confident in themselves as well as confident that their partner will still be by their side. A sense of belonging is important, in the Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, a sense of belonging is completely necessary in order to survive and people should take greater notice to this opposed to having all their goals set on materialistic wants. Although many may think having a lot of money will give them happiness, we can see from the "What Makes Us Happy" by Joshua Shenk many of the subjects were successful with their careers and their finances, but they were depressed to levels of suicide. Their priorities are in the wrong place and ultimately lead to a sad ending in their lives.
ReplyDeleteI agree with how you tied the two readings together. Its like you made Yann's speech answer the looming question over Shenks article. When you mentioned your friends who've spent the majority of their time focused on financial means as opposed to the relationship goals etc. That would make them really happy, I thought of case no. 218. He struggled between choosing whether he wanted a job that would make him more money or to go into medicine like he dreamed of doing. He told the Grant Studiers he had no regrets in life, but its plain to see that this occupational choice was certainly one. He desired something that in turn did not exactly desire him back. Yann makes the distinction between desiring an escalope and his wife. Desiring his wife is better for him because she in turn desires him back. What it seems as if both of these authors are trying to say is this: happiness blooms from your relationships with others. In "Love Hurts" by Stephanie Pappas, Jennifer Leo makes the comment that "Ultimately, love works in the service of protecting the relationship and maintaining it into the long term...". With this indication of the power that love has, she also supports the idea of love being directly related to happiness. Happiness in a relationship is what keeps it intact and prolongs it for both people in the relationship. Wouldn't it be safe to say the same is true with love? On top of all of that, Rita Dove elaborates on how Paul's love for Christ is what's assisting him on his road to happiness. His desire for Christ ( which one could assume is reciprocated because he saved him) is apparent through the love and happiness he's gained. All four of these readings coincide on the central ideas of love, happiness, and desire.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your idea that Dall’Aglio’s speech differed greatly from the Grant Study paper. I believe that Yann takes a different approach to love than the Grant Study. Yann goes to say that love is the “desire of being desired” and that we, as individuals, are useless because we do not desire ourselves, instead we depend on the desire of others. So without that other person, we would be completely alone and useless. Yann’s approach to love is more philosophical and tends to rely on his experiences and what he has learned from pondering love. On the other hand, the Grant Study is more factual and experimental. The Grant Study follows a group of Harvard alumni throughout their whole lives and figures out what factors makes a person’s life happier than others. This study showed that it didn’t matter whether you were wealthy or not, because love isn’t measured financially, as you stated in this blog. Love is measured by how happy with that certain person and this is proved by the grant study.
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